Background Nurses who work with very unwell or dying children may experience intense sorrow and distress in response to loss, which can take an emotional toll on them, potentially affecting care provision.

Aim This study aimed to explore the experiences of children’s nurses who work with seriously ill children and to gain an insight into the dynamics involved in working with children and their families, as well as the nurses’ experiences of managing their own vulnerability.

Methods In-depth interviews were conducted with five children’s nurse participants, and data were analysed using interpretive phenomenological analysis.

Findings Three thematic categories were identified – ‘being emotionally full’, ‘navigating the rules of grief’ and ‘prism of time’. Caring for seriously ill and dying children is a unique type of nursing and is often regarded as contrary to the ‘natural’ process of life. Findings were dominated by unresolved grief and the mechanisms used to cope with this emotional pain.

Conclusion Nurse educators must be aware of the strategies that people use to avoid engaging with painful emotional experiences. Without this understanding and self-awareness, children’s nurses can be caught in a cycle of unresolved grief that affects their own health and could affect their ability to engage with children and families in an empathetic and supportive way.