Remembering the strict, unenlightened days of her training, Jane Bates tries to be good whenever she is cast into the role of hospital visitor

‘Could I have a paper bag for Mrs Bloggs’ bedsocks? She’s got porridge on them.’ Now, I defend the right of anyone to ask for a paper bag for their friend’s bedsocks, especially if they have porridge on them, but on this particular occasion the request was not too cheerfully received, because at the time the ward staff were all frantically involved in a resuscitation. Visitors, don’t you love ‘em?