The top slot inthe suicidestakes hasbeen claimedby men overthe age of 85

Lulu's belief that she was a tiger, wailed out58 times in her ingeniously titled hit, 'I'm aTiger', is one of many lines from thepantheon of pop with a legitimate claim onthe all-time most irritatingly dumb lyric. But despite strong opposition from otherclassics of the genre, including 'Love Me, LoveMy Dog' and anything by Lieutenant Pigeon, my vote goes to the song from MASH, the1970s military medics drama whose themetune included the line: 'Suicide is painless, itbrings on many changes.'