A media flesh count won't cure anorexia

Now I don't want all you impressionable young things out there developing eating disorders in an attempt to attain the chiselled features of top celebrities like me. Just because my photo appears in this glossy mag doesn't mean you must doggedly ape my catwalk physique and, um, lived in looks. It takes years of work, worry and late nights face down in a curry to achieve this gaunt appearance. You can't expect a chocolate binge and a quick vomit to produce the same effect.